I’ve been Lucky not to lose You…

You thought you might be a ghost.

You thought you might be a ghost.

You didn’t get to heaven, but you made it close.

 

“After my experiences with Christians I’m really surprised that I’m still one.” 

I said these words to my friend Craig a couple of weeks ago and it has haunted me ever since. I think I have a distrust and suspiscion for Christians because I have been hurt way too many times.  There is always an agenda for love.  “If you do this then we can love you.” 

I have never had the best experiences with Christians and sometimes would much rather hang out with non-Christians.  My whole life Christians have brought me down.  It was as if I was in a pool, drowning and as I was trying to swim up to catch my breath someone would jump on me and bring me back down to the bottom of the pool desperate for air.

But, then there is this Christ.  This Jesus that loves those who Christians do not love. 

The Jesus that pulls you up out of the pool to the air that you desperately long for. 

The Jesus that cares for the poor and the unlovable.

The Jesus that gives you an identity that no one can take away.

The Jesus that continually teaches me what beauty is, what life means and what truth can be.

But, I’m lucky not to have lost this Jesus…

I don’t know why people act the way they do and I don’t know how to get rid of the pain that Christians in the past have inflicted upon me and the grudge that I hold against them, but I do know that through this pain there has been joy and through this darkness I can still see the light.

I can see the beauty of this life.

I can see the wonder and awe of the world.

I can also see the intrigue of living a life following this Christ and I just can’t get away.  It is just that beautiful…