I’m a Racist…..Con’t

There are a couple of other things I have been thinking about lately that have really bothered me. 

As I sit in my large lecture class and look around at all of my fellow classmates I think to myself…”This is the future of the church….”  But, what scares me is how lightly we take that.  If we are to be leaders of The Church and The Body of Christ we must change the way in which we are living.  

As I said before,  we need to embody ministry and embody mission. 

For me,  I don’t always do this.  It is one thing to say I believe that I should do whatever I can to break the barriers of race and class, but to say I do these things……that’s a bit more difficult. 

I have many heroes in my life, but there are a couple I want to share with you tonight that take what it means to live out their faith very seriously……and they are not pastors….rather they are teachers in inner city schools. 

I am starting to believe that inner city school teachers might be the profession that best embodies the Gospel. 

They have taken seriously what it means to break the barriers of class and race.  They have given their lives to make possible what has been impossible for their students. 

If we are to follow Christ, who makes it possible for us to create alternative realities for the people who suffer in our communities, we might need to learn from our friends who have taken the Gospel a lot more seriously than the “future of the church” has….

I’m a Racist…….

….I know what you are thinking, just let me explain.

A couple of years ago I would have never said such a thing, but recently I’m learning that I was quite wrong. 

A little history if you will….

I went to a elementary school that was minority white.  As I grew up, I swore to myself that if anyone was racist, it wasn’t me.  I was sure that I treated everyone equal.  Not me, I would say. But ,what I didn’t now was that I am and will continue to be entrenched in systems that perpetuate racism everyday. 

Some call this systematic racism or institutionalized racism, while others call it color-blind racism.  Whatever we want to call it, it is real.  Our systems continue give the advantage to the white male’s of this world (this is me) and we must break this system.  People are suffering from things not of their choosing and this must be something we take very seriously.

But I have a confession to make……I don’t take this very seriously….

I would like to think I do, but that wouldn’t be very honest. 

I loved the Church I went to at my undergrad (emphasize the love because I did, do, and will continue to love this church), but every Sunday broke my heart.  As I turned the corner their they were, the homeless population of Tampa.  Every Sunday they would come to our church for a free hot breakfast.  This is a good thing, right?  Well, yes, but do you know how hard it was to see every     single     person    walk right past them and walk right to the Sanctuary.  I began to see that this was very much the segregation I read in my history books.  The rich white people walked to the Sanctuary while the poor black people ate breakfast in the multi-purpose room.  Sounds a little bit like racism….The worst part was that through my time at my undergrad I began to make friends with this community.  This meant that every Sunday my congregration began to walk right on past my friends.  It still pains me to think about this.  I am beginning to learn that It isn’t enough to just throw food at people.  We never…..I repeat never…..see Jesus do this. For Jesus, it was the sharing of a meal.  Could the simple act of sharing a meal (which we see Jesus do numerous times)  break the systems that continue to oppress people in our communities?  It just might…….

Now I need to turn to my Seminary experience with Racism.

We have a very diverse student body at the Divinity School.  One of the best in the country, I would say.  It is even one of the reasons why I came here.  My class shows a 21 percent increase in diversity.  From the outside it might look like we have it down.  Well……not quite….

The problem comes outside the classroom.

How can we honestly say that we are about breaking the systems racism when we sit together in class, study together and eat together, but refuse to worship together on Sunday?????????????

I decided to try to break the barriers that separate us so I went to a Historically Black Church down the street, three weeks in a row.  I enjoyed it, but I definitely felt uncomfortable at times.  In the end I stopped going.  There might have been a number of conditions for this, but I just recently found out that a couple of friends of mine go there regularly.  It wasn’t until recently that I began to struggle with what it means to try to break the segregation we see in the Church.

You know those moments…those moments when it just hits you?  Again, I saw myself saying one thing in the classroom and doing the direct opposite outside the classroom.  How easy is it for us to dismiss who we worship with.  I’m beginning to think that I might…I just might…go back to that Church that has so much to teach me with my friends who have so much to show me…

Welcome to the Confessions of a Divinity Student

I have a confession to make…..

I was almost too busy today and I almost walked past my friend Mike who needed my help.  Mike is homeless and he needed eight dollars today to get into a homeless shelter where he would recieve his medication.  My confession is that I almost walked right on past Jesus……

It has been tough for me these past couple of months.  I have struggled with what it means to follow Christ while away at Seminary.  For some, this might be an odd statement.  They might respond with, “I thought going to Seminary was following Christ.”  In a sense I would say yes, but like I told my friend Jonathan a couple of weeks ago, “We get it, but we don’t get it.”  And I know some will say that these three years are meant to mold ones mind, but if we are to embody ministry and embody mission it is not something we wait to do when our three years are up.  We need to be honest with ourselves and look at the things we need to repent.  We must repent in the ways of this world, in order to join in the ways of the Kingdom of God. 

This blog is just that; a way to confess the ways in which we have not loved our communities with our whole hearts.  I mean, we want to do something, don’t we?  What kinds of things will be created out of this dialogue?  Hopefully, through our thoughts and ideas we will disturb eachother to the point that we must do something.  I refuse God brought me to Durham just to write papers and I would assume the same for you….

During this time we will raise questions and will make eachother uncomfortable.  We will learn that sometimes questions are better than answers.  And we will learn that with much trial and discomfort, beauty and truth will find itself deeply meshed with our being.

I encourage you to journey with me through this time. Please make comments and wrestle with what it means for us to walk in the way of Jesus Christ, our Savior. 

We must learn to disagree well and learn that maybe some of the best things we can learn are from the people that are least like us.  A friend told me one time that we will never make Disciples unless we develop relationships with people very different than ourselves.  I trust that to be true.

Through this time, we will wrestle with everything from the idols in our lives to ways in which we can better serve our community.

Will we ever learn that it isn’t about us?????

These are the Confessions of a Divinity Student……