Why I always feel the need to help……and where I found true hospitality.

I feel your heart. I feel your heart.  I feel your heart.

I used to hate when we had company over to our house becaus that meant one thing…….we had to clean.  Why?  I would ask.  Why do we need to clean for people to come over? 

My Mom always wanted the house to look neat and tidy for our guest.  I mean, who doesn’t?  She wanted to be hospitable to our guests…there isn’t anything wrong with that, is there?

This way to think about hospitality has been ingrained in me.  Hospitality has meant………”try and look the best you can for people when they enter into your lives and give them things they need.”  But, is this real hospitality?  Is hospitality really trying to create an image of providing goods and services?

My friend A.J. defines hospitality as “welcoming the stranger.”  This form of hospitality is defined by entering into the lives of other people who are different from me. 

I am slowly figuring out that hospitality is less about doing things for guests and more about entering the lives of people who are strangers to me. 

I have this problem…….its called the “I want to help people” problem.  The reason I call this a problem is not because it is bad to help people, but because sometimes I care more about what I can do for somebody than who that somebody is. 

A good example of this is “feeding the homeless.”  Our first inclination is always, “someone is hungry, we need to feed them.”  But, this is not hospitality.  This is not welcoming the stranger.  This is providing a good.  When I think like this, I am treating the person as a project to be solved instead of a person to build a relationship with.  This is why the “sharing of a meal” is so important.  When you “share a meal” you are entering the life of the other person.  This is welcoming the stranger.

It is time for us start entering into the lives of one another instead of making projects out of one another.  This is real hospitality.

The first time I saw hospitality of this sort was in a chemotherapy treatment facility. 

When my mom was battling cancer I would often go to chemotherapy with her.  It took hours so we had a chance sit and talk about all sorts of things. 

In this facility there was about 25 chairs and patients were constantly going in and coming out. 

This is a place of a lot of suffering, that is for sure, but it was also a place where I saw my mom welcome the stranger……….

When someone was new to the facility she would instantly start to talk to them.  She would ask all sorts of questions and try and learn everything she could about that person.  She would bring encouragement and empathy to her new friend and make sure he/she would know that they were now a part of each others stories……a part of each others hopes and dreams, but also a part of each others grieving and suffering. 

There was no goods or services offered here, just an offer to be apart of someone’s life. 

To welcome someone into your life and to enter into somone elses is true hospitality.  True hospitality is welcoming the stranger……..

Can you feel someones hurts? Can you feel there pains?  Can you feel their hopes?  Can you feel their dreams?

Hospitality is not about how many good things you can give to someone or about how good of service you can give to them……..Hospitality is about real people who have real lives and our opportunity to join them……..