Torah and My Pride

Last week all of the first year students were going a little crazy.  We had a quiz on the Torah (first five books of the Old Testament) and everyone was a little worried (I still don’t understand why, it is only worth 5% of our grade).  In preparation for this quiz I got together with a study group at one of my group members apartment.  As I rode up on my scooter I noticed two of my group members walking in when a guy in a pickup truck stopped and asked them for some money for gas to help him get back home.  They both declined…………

Listen, I understand that school is important.  I want to do as well as anyone else, but when we care more about getting a good grade on our Torah Quiz instead of doing what the Torah says we have a problem.  A major theme in the book of Genesis is about Blessing.  In Genesis, Blessing is never something that is transparent to someone.  In other words, Blessing just  doesn’t go through you to help someone.  You have to be active in that Blessing.  If you have that Blessing your job is to push that blessing in a way that helps others.  I understand that it is easy for us to say that we are poor Grad Students, but lets face it.  In terms of resources we are in the top percentage category. 

The man in the truck spotted me and yelled at me.  I couldn’t hear him so I drove my scooter up to his truck.  He politely asked me for some money, but I did not have any with me.  I told him that if he knew where a gas station was I would use my debit card to fill his truck up.  He wasn’t from the area, but I told him I would follow him until we found one.  Sure enough there was one down the street.

As we got to the gas station I learned that my new friend got lost and needed gas to get back home.  I swiped my card and told him to take what he needed, but he refused to take only what he needed (two gallons).  As we talked he apologized to me for having to use my money give him some gas.  I told him not to apologize and I apologized for my friends not helping him out.  Then he said something I will never forget, “I know, when someone needs help you’re supposed to help them, right?”  I assured him that he was right and again apologized.  He asked me what I did and I ashamedly told him I went to the Divinity School at Duke University.  He instantly pointed to a Bible at his dashboard and said, “You see that.”  I said yes and replied, “In there it says to help people doesn’t it?”  “Sure does!”  He said. 

I told him again to go ahead and fill up his truck, but he declined and told me that he could use some food, though.  I told him I would grab him something from the gas station, but he said he had diabetes.  I didn’t know a place that was open at the time so I told him I would grab him some cash from an ATM.  After he got done pumping gas, I met back up with him and handed him some money.  He instantly hugged me and said, “You don’t know how much this means to me.”

Thats when my pride set in.  I somehow decided that I was so much better than my friends for helping out my new friend Teddy.  This righteous attitude made me so ashamed of myself I couldn’t even hug Teddy back.  He wished me well and was on his way.

I think pride is one of the hardest things to deal with.  Especially because there is no safe space to talk about it.  If you even talk about dealing with pride you are marked as prideful.

Well I think we all deal with it, especially us Divinity Students.  My hope is that we can create safe spaces to discuss pride and find ways to humble ourselves.  Pride, in my opinion, can be one of the hardest things to deal with it.

Pride……………….can we overcome it?